I want to say my dream even as a child was to be a mom but my dream came crashing down. At a young age, I was diagnosed with a rare disease called Premature Ovarian Failure, POF. POF pushed my body into menopause so while women my age were worried about boys, and what they were doing on Friday nights- I was trying to plan for a family I may never have. Being told several times by multiple doctors that you are infertile definitely cause me to go into depression and feel like less of women. To feel the pressure of society’s stereotype that women are made to reproduce and knowing that my body couldn’t really break me. It took me years to be able to look at anything relating to babies or pregnancies. Today I still battle with my depression but I am able to take my story and use it to help others. Women like me who can’t have kids shouldn’t have to feel like they not beautiful. We all have flaws mine just happens to be that I can’t conceive.
1. How old are you? 23
2. What do you do for a living? I work at a local hospital.
3. What made you decide to take a leap of faith and do a boudoir session? I decide to do a boudoir session to not only try something new but to prove to myself that I can be feminine. I have several health issues and they can cause me to feel like less of a woman.
4. Did you have any obstacles or fears about boudoir? My main fear was not knowing what to expect. I have several insecurities with my body and I didn’t them to be the focus in the session.
5. Was the session different from what you expected it to be? With not knowing what to expect I was shocked in how comfortable the whole session made me feel. Even with being very exposed in front of a stranger I never felt naked or indecent.
6. What was your favorite part about the entire experience? My favorite part of the session wasn’t getting all dolled up but instead was seeing the first glimpse of my photos. Being able to be in the moment and see how different poses related on camera really helped to ease my nerves.
7. How did you feel when you saw your photographs? When I first saw my photos I was in shock. I didn’t believe it was me. My fear that my flaws would be the main focus in the pictures was gone. I think I even said out loud “my butt looks so big!”.
8. Any advice for women interested in their own boudoir session? My main advice would me to let go and have fun. In my session, I was able to discuss and choose everything from my hair and makeup to what I was comfortable in exposing. The environment that was created during the session made me feel relaxed. Even at times stopping to sing along to the music and laugh.
9. Did anything change about the way you see your own beauty as a result of the session?Yes. I have a lot of insecurities about my body, as many people do, but after seeing the final photos it gives me little more confidence. I am able to see my body from another perspective which allows me to see what others see when they look at me.
10. Would you recommend Black Lace Boudoir?